Kids asks the darndst things

The past few weeks, Ive been busy with school projects and working so haven't noticed all the funny and crazy things happening around me. This week Ive been working in different primary schools with the babies ages 6-8. You know kids say the darnedest things, for real....I'm at this school working with 1st graders and they are really sweet...and just a very welcoming school...so I'm in class introducing myself and of course the kids notice my accent...so they are guessing where I am from...its always America or Africa????....so we are outside on break..did i mention that the kids get breaks aside from their lunch hour...and yes it is very nice...so they kids are running around having fun and this girl comes up to me and says "are you from America" (of course with a British accent)..I say yes and then she says...why did America tell Israel to bomb Gaza???...you know I'm like WHAT THE MOTHER, WTF, did she just ask me that...lol...needless to say I was floored at the question coming from such a young person..and all I could say was I do not know...wowzers.....

it really makes a difference

worked at another school on Thur & Fri....the kids were good and I had a good time teaching...its so funny that although there is an "English" language, depending on where you are from, the English (language) is different..and of course working in a school I have to be very mindful of that...on Thursday we were doing an activity which involved scraps of paper and stuff not needed..so as were cleaning up I asked a few student to pick up the garbage...they looked at me like i was crazy...so again I asked them to pick up the trash and put it in the garbage...still that deer in the headlights look...so i realized I was saying it ALL wrong....please pick up the "rubbish" and put it in the "bin"was what I should have been saying all along...lol...on Friday we were working on a science activity about dark and light...the lesson called for us to use "torches" to show light and create shadows and things...in my mind I'm like wow we are going to be using blow torches to demonstrate light, this is a serious assignment...so the other grade level teacher got the supplies for me and brought back the "torches"...they were flashlights...lol..

OOOKay!

...so i worked at a school today and had older kids...well not that old but 4th-5th grader...i got the call as i was preparing to go to school and am usually aware of how i dress when working...well i did not pay attention to my top but always have my pashmina scarf on...well it got hot in the classroom so I took my scarf off..duh...while helping the students i kept wondering why the boys were staring at me and my chest...lets just say i was jingling baby...lol...
p.s. i did wrap up with my scarf like i was going to Alaska....

....so did not expect a second day of funny buttt....I'm on the bus on my way to college/school and this older lady walks on the bus....she gets on kind of mumbling where am i gonna sit...and I'm like lawd i hope not next to me, because this lady had on flip-flops in 40 degree weather (& she was black) and she had Vaseline on her lips but it was around her lips..lol..so something wasn't right...so she sits across from me and then starts screaming WAIT A F*&KN minute...I'm like okk its about to be on...then the bus driver (from behind his little plastic booth) is screaming at her to pay her fare...then ms. lady SCREAMS DON'T BE F*&KN YELLING AT ME....the driver then says get off the bus!!...ms. lady really starts going crazy doing more screaming and yelling (just picture somebody older and drunk yelling)...so this chick that was at the bus stop gets on the bus and starts cussing the driver out saying that's not right to act like that and she comes and gets ms. lady's bus pass to pay her fare...at first the bus driver would not accept it but it was too late she already swiped the card...so then the chick says to the driver you see that she is sick don't act like that...then ms lady SCREAMS I AI NT SICK, I'M F*&KN OLD, I'M 65YEARS OLD AND SHOULD HAVE A WALKING STICK!!!!..YOU F*&CN BASTARD...so fine he lets that go and start to pull off...well ms chick is like wait im not taking the bus i need toget off and starts banging on the bus and his little window...hes not really paying her and mind & then she yelling to dude LET ME OFF THE BUS MY BABY IS AT THE BUS-STOP!!!!..so you know i looked out the window and sure enough was her baby sitting in the carriage...OMG..so ms. lady lets him have it calling him all types of azzholes and bishes....well you know that set the driver off...i guess it was the last straw....he shut the bus down...told everybody to GET OFF this bus is OUT OF SERVICE...lol...so of course ms. lady starts cussing and fussing about how she should beat the bus drivers azz and all....well i sit there because i know he is eventually going to leave...well another bus is behind my bus and a few folks get off including ms. crazy lady...well you know what happened...the bus driver closed all door..asked if "she" was off the bus...would not let anybody back on and burned rubber...lawdamercy....

oh he crazy

after class i stayed in the room to finish up some school work...I'm there with my classmate (ill call them koala) and its nice and peaceful...i had to leave for a minute and after a while, Koala called me to say that a class was starting in the room and to come get my things....so as we are packing the students are coming in and the tutor walks in...Koala says to the tutor I'm packing up and leaving now and hes' like GOOD!..but in a nasty way...oh you know my ears started to burn but whateva....so then the tutor is like next time put the tables and chairs back the way they were..HUH???...im like who is this nicca talking to and I'm straight mumbling this under my breath because he not directly talking to me...I'm making all kinds of crazy faces now...so Koala is basically saying sorry we didn't realize there was a class now and the tutor is still being flippant says WELL THE TIMETABLE IS ON THE WALL SO YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THERE IS A CLASS....WHATT????...you know I'm so fired up with his rudeness, I'm about to go AMERICAN on this dude....in front of his students...and he has no clue...but I'm glad that Koala handled it without any incident and we rolled out before i could open my big mouth...you know how we do!

A BEEEEE!

so this am I opened my window to let some fresh air in about 15 minutes....I'm siting on my bed doing some school work and i hear this buzz....i stand up on the bed don't see anything...i hear it again and i think oh someone must be mowing the lawn....then i hear it (BUZZZZZZZ) again and its LOUD AS HELL...that's because its in MY HOUSE....you know me i don't do bugs well, as a matter of fact AT ALL...do you know i ran out the house in my pj's & robe with no shoes on...lol....and i knocked on the neighbor downstairs' door to ask if he could help...he was like i have to go to work!!!..ILK...obviously he was late for work and this was his last warning..so whatever...went to my neighbor next door to me (a nice couple) and the husband was so great he rescued me and saved my life and my house...because i was NOT going to a.try and get rid of that big azz BUMBLE BEE (that's right not the little yellow joints like in the US) a big ol black scary and hairy King bee myself and b. i was getting ready to call 999 (that's UK 911)...so thank God for men (well at least some of them)...lol

The Beginning and this weeks happenings

So this blog should have started a long time ago....about 5 months ago with the encouragement of a good friend (shout out to ARJ)...but I finally took the time to start writing....living in London has been a very interesting and fun adventure..and believe me everyday something funny (at least funny to me) happens....sooo I decided to share it with ya....so I will not try to remember everything that happen 5 months ago (although I could :)..so I will just recap the weeks adventures....

Monday- I do a little sub teaching on the side when I'm not in school...I was at this school and everythings going ok...the class was on break (yes the kids here get breaks in addition to lunch) so I was in the room checking papers...I hear the door but my back is to it so didn't really pay any attention...next thing you know I hear BOOM-BAM-BASH...I turn around and a student is wildn out...shorty is throwing chairs across the room, flipping tables, knocking the little supply holders down...and Im like OOOHHH SHIIIIT! WTF....I'm like let me find out I gotta fight a kid today....to make a long story short all the top dogs came to the room and put a handle on shorty...WHEW... for me....lol!

Tuesday - my cousin was here a few weeks ago and she kept noticing people always running..I said girl they are running for the bus or tube...the people here live and die for public transportation...so I'm on my way home just getting off the bus...I live by the overground train (kind of like a commuter) and this chick was running...i mean running, i guessed to catch the train and low and behold she tripped and went stumbling down the block....that was not funny..but I said to myself oh boo you missed that train, especially since I saw people coming out of the station already...lol

Wednesday - can't remember a thing!

Thursday - can't remember a thing!

Friday - so I'm in Notting Hill on my way to the M&S for this banging salsa they carry that I fiend for every week....so I'm at the light waiting to cross and I usually wait for the green man because I still get confused here crossing the street...so there I go, following the crowd and I almost got creamed by a bike...so I told my friend, I almost got hit by a bike today and he's like for real a motorcycle...I'm like uh-no a BICYCLE!!!..those riders are ruthless with their little flashing hats and headlights on their bikes...lol

Saturday - I played the lottery on Friday and actually won...a whopping 6.80...but I cant front I did go and collect my money...lol